Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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