The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
