dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
