Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
