Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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