hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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