I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
