so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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