I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
