READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
