no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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