my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize