are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Are my feet made of real feet?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
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