Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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