Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
