He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
