I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
