if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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