so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Semen is not good for contacts.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Randomize
