It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
