I want to stick my p in your. b.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
