idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
