physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
