Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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