I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
So vagazzling was a success
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
