No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
