I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
