Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
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