That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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