He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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