walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
