Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize