The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
