There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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