i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
You pole danced in your parka.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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