Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize