that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
