Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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