Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
