Your mouth is God's brothel.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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