I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
