Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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