ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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