Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
