I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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