Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
