I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize