erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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