You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
