First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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