yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
