you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize