there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
