also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize