I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
