I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
