He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Randomize
