Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
