I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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