i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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