I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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