I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
