Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Quick, to the slutcave!
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Randomize
