Bisexual people are plain selfish.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
