I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
