Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
