You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
