Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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