Well apparently he's into motor boating.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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