What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
