remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
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