I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize