Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
