yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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