how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize