What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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