She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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