Can i not drive my cunt home
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
