I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
