I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Randomize